The week that was

Didier Drogba tackled (Source: Reuters)


Oscar for Drogba (DISCLAMIER: some very unashamedly biased opinions here!)

For the whole four people who actually read this column, yes, that includes you mum, you will know by now that I have an adverse reaction to a Manchester United player who I affectionately refer to as 'El Diver.'

But after the midweek Champions League game in which Chelsea hung-on for dear life against a formidable Liverpool in what has been called 'The best game EVER' or something to that effect, my loyal affections are now being reserved for one Didier Drogba - who from this day forth shall be known as 'Oscar for Drogba.'

It was not the fact that Chelsea beat the club I have supported since I was a small child to the Champions League semi-final where they will get beaten by Barcelona that bothered me, but the fact of just how sly Mr Oscar for Drogba was during said game.

Examples include: Falling on floor 'injured' off the pitch, seeing Liverpool had ball, rolling back onto pitch. Extra time wasting by falling on floor 'injured' refusing help to get up, limping off pitch then coming back on to run round like a sly spring chicken.

Apparently, I am not the only person in the world who has noticed these performances from Oscar for Drogba as some awesome person has even gone to the trouble of providing us with an Oscar for Drogba montage - enjoy here, with your eyes.



Scolari for QPR

In a strange twist of fate that has seen World Cup winning manager Luiz Felipe Scolari manage top football teams such as Brazil, Portugal and er, Chelsea, it has now emerged that he is the front runner to manage - QPR!

According to reports in the Telegraph, Scolari who is keen to stay in ole Blightey after being unceremoniously sacked by Chelsea said:

"I have received some proposals, some offers, some are from teams that are of an excellent level."

We're not quite sure what team Scolari may be looking at or even where The Telegraph came to this conclusion but we're guessing it probably isn't QPR.

Ron's Real saga continues

Ramon Calderon may have been ousted as El president of Real Madrid but that doesn't mean he still can't stoke the fire after he claimed that Cristiano Ronaldo WILL be a Real Madrid player next season.

Roman 'I actually don't know when to shut up' Calderon fuelled speculation that Ron will be doing more lying in the Spanish sun with busty models (or woman who look a bit like horses if his latest squeeze is anything to go by) in the summer by bigging up himself on French radio:

"I can not give any names but all I can say is that thanks to the DIFFICULT and LABORIOUS work that I did last year, HE (Ron) is ALREADY formally a Madrid player - subject obviously to him being able to sign the relevant contract."

So after all that, Ron isn't actually a Real Madrid player then? Or is he? Oh, my brain hurts!

Babel to leave the Reds

Due to the fact that he gets no play, Liverpool super-sub Ryan Babel has expressed his desire to leave the Merseyside club in the summer - presumable for a career as a crap rapper.

Listen to Babel rapping crapply about ladies and awesome watches here!



Everton ban the beeb

Everton FC banned BBC cameras from their FA Cup semi-final press day last week in protest at how Marouane Fellani and his magnificently returned fro's elbow was portrayed during the match of the day two's coverage of their 3-3 draw with Villa.

According to reports, Everton fear the MOTD coverage may have 'coloured' the refs judgement before the semi-final clash.

Due to the fact they are playing Manchester United, we're guessing the refs judgement has already been clouded due to the fact they are in fact, playing Manchester United.

Blatant self promotion ALERT!

FA Cup semi finals LIVE and exclusive this weekend with TVNZ. Get details HERE

SPOTTED!

Arsene Wenger dancing like your drunken dad, uncle, mother, and brother all rolled into one after Arsenal beat Villarreal to reach the semi-finals of the Champions League! Love it!

'Arry Redknapp quote of the week

This week 'Arry Redknapp takes time out to explain just why, despite the arrival of Carlo Cudicini, Heurelho 'butterfingers' Gomes is the one for him.

"He was excellent against West Ham," Redknapp said and considering his performances in nearly every other Premier League game this season, er, that's about it.